Required Reading?

Found this in the laundry room this morning. After five years of blogging for The Huffington Post, maybe I should read it?

Pretty Much All You Need To Know About Writing

Today is the start of a new session of a class that I'm teaching for the Gotham Writer's Workshop. I teach Intro to Non-Fiction, but I found the following photo on Pinterist. It's aimed at kids, but it's good story-telling advice for pretty much anyone.

Source: google.com via Kayla on Pinterest

This was on the board when I went to teach my Intro to Nonfiction class on Tuesday. It's a six week class with the Gotham Writers Workshop that aims to get people who may want to start writing but don't know how. It starts again in the fall.

Most of the time people's creativity has been sapped by either academia or corporate life. The class is a sort of a boot camp to get people thinking again.

I've been teaching the class for five years and 90% of the time people have been failing as writers because:

1. They don't read enough. I'm shocked by how many people don't read news or even something like The New Yorker or New York magazine on a regular basis.

2. They claim they don't have time to concentrate, yet they've seen every episode of Lost or The Bachelor. Time management isn't terribly difficult. And it's much more gratifying to create something than to consume it.

3. They think they have to write every day, which is hooey and a slight waste of time. Writing blindly every day is akin to getting on an elliptical and pumping away aimlessly. It'll keep you busy for half an hour, but you may not get much out of it.

4. This has more to do with fiction writing than short, non fiction pieces: Novels are written via outline, not by sitting at the laptop and waiting for the muse to strike. It's trite to say, but breaking down large projects into smaller pieces actually gets the job done. Also: no literary agent will even talk to you unless you have a completed outline of your project. No agent = no book deal.

Don't Know How To Start Writing? Look No Further.

Most people know that I teach a writing class for The Gotham Writer's workshop. I teach the Intro To Non Fiction Class, which is designed to get people who like to write up and at 'em.

I give a lot of prompts in class which are designed to get students writing, or at least get the rusty gears turning in their heads. For some reason everyone always says they loved writing -- until they got to college and were forced to do it all the time. My job is to clean up the mess academia left behind.

Not everyone has the time or the discipline for a six-week long class, yet they still want to write, but don't know where to start. A few days ago I found this link to the Imagination Prompt Generator. Just click the button and you'll get a writing prompt. If you don't like, just keep clicking until you find something that inspires you.


Imagination Prompt Generator

Treadmills And Coffee

Every writer has that secret recipe that they swear helps them push the words out. For some, it's liquor and drugs, others swear by music, and perhaps Rufus Wainwright needs cigarettes and chocolate milk.

Over the last few days I have realized that I need a four mile run and a cup of coffee. Not at the same time, though. I need to run for about 40 minutes, do some weights and sit ups, and then on the way home pick up a coffee. Then, and only then, am I calm and centered enough to sit on the edge of my bed and stare at a laptop that is perched in top of a folding card table that I bought from a friend for five dollars several years ago. In all liklihood Peppe is curled on the bed as well. He'll be up soon enough, though, to stand watch in front of the oven. He's convinced there's a mouse behind it. (Shhh! Don't tell Peppe he's de-clawed.)

I was reading the cheesey writer magazines again today (for some reason I seem to have a subscription) and they give all sorts of advice about making a proper space for writing and devoting time at the same time every day to write.

I think that's baloney. No one really has a clean, well-lighted place to write. Most of us are lucky to carve out time -- at any time -- to do it. Because the New Year is approaching, I'm sure that writing classes and books about writing are suddenly going to become very popular, and I wish they wouldn't. I wish people who really want to write, be it books or blogs or even greeting cards, just sit down and do it. Occaisonally you do have to look something up, like how one goes about identfying a body at the morgue or how to play the bass. But all the time that people spend reading about the craft of writing should actually be spent writing.

Cart in Front of Horse

Camera shy, originally uploaded by bryanilona.

Most people know that in addition to my day job I teach writing classes on the side, and have been for two years.

No matter how classes I teach, someone, usually on the first day of class, raises their hand and asks, "How do I go about getting an agent."

If you're in my class, the answer is, "You don't."

I don't know what it is about writing that makes everyone think that they can do it, and on top of that, make money off it. Just because someone can string sentences together and write e-mail does not mean that they can do this for a living. Being a writer is just as difficult as any other job, yet I am amazed by how many people think that doing what myself and so many of my friends do as easy. Techincally I can play the guitar, but you don't see me in a recording studio laying down tracks. I have enough sense to know that there is more to a music career than just writing catchy tunes.

Any writer will tell you that sometimes the act of writing is physically painful. It hurts to sit in front of your computer all day, usually hopped on caffeine or some other stimulant, and force the creative out.

There is a certain dizziness that comes from being inside your head all day long, and it's a dizziness that can only be stopped by a long run or doing manual labor around the house. Too many writers try to stop the mental exhaustion with liquor and drugs. A musician can spend all day long in his room, write a song and then play it at an open mic, and get immediate feedback. A writer doesn't have that luxury. Feedback can take weeks or years. That's a long time to wait until efforts are validated.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. People who don't write for a living need to understand that writing a book is the destination. The journey will take many steps, many drafts, and much frustration. The first step is sitting in the class taught by myself and so many others like me. The second is sitting down and writing. And writing. And writing some more. When it starts to drive you crazy, you know that you're on the right track.

In the meantime, don't think about agents or how to meet an editor. Don't think about whether you should self-publish or how much it costs to retain a publicist. Don't worry about what people will think if you open yourself up on the page. Sit down. Shut up. And write.

You want to be a writer, dont' you?

Common Writing Mistakes: Don't Make Them!

writing light, originally uploaded by kalieye.

I've been teaching writing for about two years. On the first day of any class most students look a little scared. This is not because I'm large and imposing, it's because as a general rule, writing scares people. This is curious, considering writing involves nothing more than sitting and being quiet. So why all the looks of terror?

I find that most people have trouble with writing because they don't do it everyday. By that, I don't mean e-mail. E-mail isn't exactly writing. For the most part it's stream of conciousness on a computer screen. Most people don't sit and write for at least 20 minutes everyday, and over time the mental muscles needed to write well get flabby. Yes, even if you were an English major.

As a teacher I've noticed a few other common mistakes that students, both undergrads and adults, makes time and time again. I made up a worksheet for my current class, but I like it so much that I posted it below.

****
Long Sentences:
It’s quite simple: You are not William Faulkner. Don’t think that you can get away with long sentences and not completely lose your reader. Instead, try to be Ernest Hemingway. Keep your sentences short. The period is your friend. The semi colon only confuses people because no one uses it correctly. If you’ve used it five times in your life, you’ve hit your limit.

Filler Words:
Avoid starting sentences with words such as:

Well
Anyway
But
So
Because


A lot of people think that developing your voice as a writer means writing the way you speak. This is not so. If good writing depended on writing the way we talk, the English language would be in a lot of trouble. Cut the filler words and your writing will sound a lot more polished.

On that same note: If your favorite example of a great writing voice is the narrator in Catcher in the Rye, you need to read a lot more. A lot.

Let It Bake:
Just as Rome wasn’t built in a day, good writing doesn’t come from a twenty minute brain dump. Whenever you write something, close the file when you’re done and come back to it in a few days. Chances are you will see things you want to change and places where you can tighten, etc.

On that same note, try reading your work out loud before you think it’s done. Like music, good writing has a cadence and a rhythm to it. Hearing it out loud may identify areas that need work.

Don’t Abuse the Exclamation Point:
The only time an exclamation point is needed is when you want to convey that someone is shouting, or something on that level of intensity. When you over use it, the exclamation point loses its punch and will make your writing look like it was created by a 13-year-old girl. There are few things I loathe more than an exclamation point abuser. If it gets extreme, I may have to arrange an intervention.