Today I have a post on The Huffington Post about why, in the world of New York dating, the worst thing a guy can be is cheap, or in a larger sense, selfish.
I got lots of feedback about the piece, and most people focused on the money aspect of the post, which was not the point at all. The point was that the little mating dance that has to happen between people in the early stages of meeting and dating often gets lost in New York. I think I spelled that out pretty clearly, but I can't control other people's reading comprehension skills.
In this case, a perfectly good guy lost major points with two friends of mine when he not only took the money they offered for a glass wine at a friendly gathering, but he asked for more since he felt that the check was short. (It wasn't. He just couldn't add.) A nice guy would have waved them off, especially since he was clearly flirting with one of them. (And even tracked her down on Facebook afterwards, natch.)
The comments section of The Huffington Post blog suggests that I have antiquated dating ideals, but I don't think so. If not putting up with the reindeer games that run amok in New York City means I am not a feminist, then fine, to hell with the sisterhood. Last time I checked, feminists valued themselves and insisted on being treated well by the opposite sex in all areas of life. Women forget that when it comes to dating they are the ones in control. Then again, if everyone remembered that, then we would have no fodder for chick lit novels and Sex And The City movies.
