A Delightful Series To Watch This Weekend: Fatherhood

There are all sorts of fantastic shows online, and one of my favorite new finds is Fatherhood on the AOL On Network.

It's a documentary series starring Frank Azaria, the guy who performs a multitude of voices on The Simpsons, among many other professional achievements. He had a kid in his mid-40s, which some people may consider later in life, but here in Manhattan it is totally average.

He rounded up some of his other actor friends, like Bryan Cranston, Mike Meyers, Kevin Bacon and Joshua Maline (from Scandal) and gets them talking candidly about parenthood, covering everything from demonic playground parents to having the sex talk with your kid. The show is genius, even if you don't have a kid.

This TED Talk Will Make You A Better Person

TED talks are wonderful nuggets of information, offering new perspectives on topics most of us don't think too much about -- that's why experts and academics often give them. (The parodies of TED Talks are also quite funny.)

This talk by Andrew Solomon about parents who love children who are wildly different from them, be it disabled, autistic, etc., is an absolute must watch. If by the end of it you don't feel more compassionate and kind, then you are made of stone.

Solomon wrote the book Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity It's an enormous book but after this talk I'm keen on reading it.

The Giftless Kid's Birthday Party -- A New Trend?

Source: bakerella.com via Bryn on Pinterest

Update: I whipped up a Huffington Post piece based on this. Def check it out.

Yesterday afternoon I took Andre to a birthday party for one his preschool classmates. Three year old birthday parties resemble frat parties in many ways, what with the loud music and everyone running around like a crazy. (There were no kegs, though.)

The mom at this party was overt about requesting no gifts for the birthday boy. She's not a meanie by any stretch. In fact, I think it's a genius idea. Kids get so much stuff over the course of the year, why add more to the pile? How many plastic trucks does one need? Given the chaotic nature of kid's birthday parties, there isn't even time and structure to open them. Grandparents and close family will probably send something over anyway.

Think about it: Do you remember your third birthday? Do you remember anything that you received? Probably not.

New York City, in particular, is known for excessive kids' birthday parties. On several occasions I've seen four piece bands walk into the local indoor playground for a first birthday party. It's a bizarre form of being flashy. If you have thousands of dollars to spend on a kid's birthday, how about using $500 of it for the actual party and sending the rest to a kids'charity? That's a better use of extremely disposable income.

In the meantime, toying with a giftless party for a toddler seems like a great idea. It takes the heat off the guests to dig something up and cuts down on clutter in your home.

In Which I Went To The West Side Today...

...and realized -- after 13 years in Manhattan -- why parents flock to the West Village in droves.

Because when you walk into the Bleecker Street playground on Family Day, surrounded by magicians and live music and pinwheels and rainbows, you think that sort of thing happens every day.



Free bird!
 

Your playground doesn't have a guitarist, who kind of look like Kathy Griffin? (In a good way!)

Then I started chatting with some of the other parents, who were so much nicer than anyone in Murray Hill. (I hate to say it, but I've dealt with some real turnips at St. Vartan's Park.) Andre's pre-school is on the West Side, and strolling up The Highline was inspiring as well as easy. (Also notable: you can purchase cocktails on The Highline. This is not to be overlooked.)



So. Conflicted.

Screaming Children In Upper East Side Apartment Hallways: What's Appropriate?

Last night I came home after taking out a client downtown. It was Friday and I was ready to flop onto my couch before heading off to the movies.

The elevator doors opened onto the 10th floor, where I live, and 10 very small children, all under the age of 5 and many in footsie pajames, were running around and playing in the halls. One kid was on a small scooter. The parents were milling around, having a coffee klatch. "Welcome to chaos!" one mother said to me as I sauntered by. This is not the first time I have been greeted by this scene.

I understand that living on the Upper East Side comes with this sort hazard. My building is in the P.S. 6 school district, so it's crawling with kids, as well as some very exotic dogs. I also know that my building is very clean, and has wide, well-lit, carpeted hallways that are perfect for afternoon games of dodgeball.

I also know that a basic tenet of renting in New York City is that one is entitled to what is called "quiet enjoyment." This is Leasing 101, and I deal with it all the time. It's a big reason why some luxury buildings don't allow pianos.

How does one handle a gaggle of screaming children, and their parents, who have mistaken the common areas as a playground? I understand small children need to let off steam, but in less than four months I'm going to have a newborn, and loud kids and my sleeping bean are not going to mix. Anyone who's been on the receiving end of one of my tongue lashings have retreated with slightly less self esteem, but I hate to go negative.

I was raised by a Russian mother who didn't allow us to run around screaming like banshees, and this was in a house in the suburbs, where the neighbors probably couldn't hear us anyway. Is it wrong to tell parents these days to muzzle their kids, or at least take them to a park? What's the protocol in this age of Time Outs and I'm OK You're OK?

Epilogue: I sorted through the mail, put my coat back on and headed down to Murray Hill for my movie. In the elevator back to the lobby, the door opened on the 7th floor. There, a school-aged girl was riding her bike in the hall (with a helmet!) while her toddler sister and a free-roaming Akita dog chased after her. The mother leaned against a wall, flipping through a magazine.

Thoughts?