Keeping with my recent theme of questioning self-help books, this is Sarah Haskin's latest bit on Current TV about dating advice books. It's hysterical, like all her videos.

Seriously, though. There are only two dating books any young woman needs to read in order to stop the shame spiral of making an ass of yourself when it comes to men. It's called a formula because it works.

Although I've never read any of her books, I always agree wholeheartedly with anything Patti Stanger, from The Millionaire Matchmaker has to say. She's harsh, but usually spot-on.

Today's Huffington Post Blog

Today I have a post on The Huffington Post about why, in the world of New York dating, the worst thing a guy can be is cheap, or in a larger sense, selfish.

I got lots of feedback about the piece, and most people focused on the money aspect of the post, which was not the point at all. The point was that the little mating dance that has to happen between people in the early stages of meeting and dating often gets lost in New York. I think I spelled that out pretty clearly, but I can't control other people's reading comprehension skills.

In this case, a perfectly good guy lost major points with two friends of mine when he not only took the money they offered for a glass wine at a friendly gathering, but he asked for more since he felt that the check was short. (It wasn't. He just couldn't add.) A nice guy would have waved them off, especially since he was clearly flirting with one of them. (And even tracked her down on Facebook afterwards, natch.)

The comments section of The Huffington Post blog suggests that I have antiquated dating ideals, but I don't think so. If not putting up with the reindeer games that run amok in New York City means I am not a feminist, then fine, to hell with the sisterhood. Last time I checked, feminists valued themselves and insisted on being treated well by the opposite sex in all areas of life. Women forget that when it comes to dating they are the ones in control. Then again, if everyone remembered that, then we would have no fodder for chick lit novels and Sex And The City movies.

How To Not Get A Woman To Have a Drink With You

A few nights ago I was walking home from an event and I decided to stop in an internet cafe to check my e-mail. It's a place I go often, and I am usually not bothered since it is dark and most of the men are looking at dirty Web sites anyway. (Yes, in front of everyone.)

I was almost done with my session when the guy next to me asked if he could try to e-mail me a music file. He told me that he kept trying to send it to his friend,
but it kept getting returned. I said sure, typed in my e-mail adddress, and sure enough, it went through. This guy told me that he was a musician.

"I wrote the song," he said. "Make sure to LISTEN TO THE WORDS."

The song was okay, but I told him that it really needed a bassline. Hey, I'm no slouch when it comes to music appreciation.

I left the cafe and thought nothing of the guy until I got this e-mail from him this morning. Please note that this guy has the word "liar" in his e-mail address and calls me a "healthy, full-figured, woman." Um, I'm a size 8. Chesty, yes, but still an 8.

Fellas, if you want a woman to loathe you for the rest of your life, call her full-figured. Please note, though, that the following women can be considered full-figured: Oprah Winfrey, Delta Burke, Mo'Nique, etc.

The follwing women may not: Pauline Millard.

Please make a note of it.


While you're at it, file this e-mail under "How Not to Get a Woman to Have a Drink With You."

***
your so cool to let me email you like that.i was
sincere about my computer problem though.but i really
did injoy talking to such a healthy ff. women.and
temted to ask you for a drink or so...well just
listen even more to my music again the same way
loudley eq..with head phones to get it in your head
,and listen to my words ,i write to thanks ...
****