The Unwritten Social Rules Of Manhattan

A few weeks ago some friends and I were talking about how the MTA needs to have an etiquette campaign on par with "If You See Something, Say Something." There's a lot of wrong every day on buses and trains, and usually via perfectly normal-looking professionals, en route to work.

It came up when a friend of mine, who has four-year-old twins and takes the 7 train from Queens every day, said she often had a hard time physically getting onto the subway because people stand in front of the sliding doors. Ever the clever woman, she now shouts, "Hot coffee!" whenever she needs to get onto the train. Miraculously, people move. (It should be noted that she rarely ever actually has coffee in her hands. She just wants to people to step aside.)

In addition to the unwritten life rules in the video above, there are a few other points I would love to see in this imaginary etiquette campaign:

1. Always give up your seat to a pregnant woman. Always. Even if you are also a woman. This is not about chivalry, it's about being thoughtful to someone who needs that seat way more than you do. (Creating life is exhausting.)

2.On that note, always offer your seat on a bus or subway to someone with a small child. It is infinitely easier to manage a toddler when they are sitting down.

3. Clipping nails and eating chicken on public transport is always no bueno. This needs no elaboration.

4. Be present: When someone is walking down the street, wearing headphones and texting at the same time, it is hard to feel sorry for them when they trip and/or bump into someone.

5. Cross on the green, not in between: This was a public service annoucement back in the 1980s, yet I seem to be the only one who remembers it. It's timeless advice: if you're not looking to get hit by a semi, wait for the green light. Jaywalking may not be an enforcable crime, but in Manhattan it can actually land you in the emergency room.

6. If you're on a Citi Bike, wear a helmet: I would love to hear an intelligent reason as to why anyone rides a bike in Manhattan without a helmet. If professional bike messengers wear helmets, we should follow their lead. Clearly they know something us bike rookies don't.

This Is Grammatically Incorrect

It should read, "New Switches. Fewer Hitches."

Way to go, MTA.

I Am A Little Concerned About The 6 Train

The 6 train has reached new lows, originally uploaded by La Pauline.

Four times in the past 24 hours I have been majorly delayed by the 6 train, going both uptown and downtown. Twice I was actually stuck on the train, between stations.

It started Friday morning at 77th Street, when I was trying to get to work. Basically, the train never came due to "signal problems." I left and hopped a bus to 59th Street, then took an N train to 14th Street.

On the way home I got stuck in a tunnel for over 20 minutes, again because of a "signal problem." We were literally 50 yards outside of Grand Central station.

This morning, again, I had to walk to work from Murray Hill because there was no 6 train. Heading back home after some shopping, something went wrong with the brakes on an uptown train, and we all had to get off while they fixed it.

I understand that the subway runs on an antiquated system, but in the nine years that I've lived in NYC I've never gotten stuck in a tunnel. With the recent cuts to service that the MTA recently announced, I also don't expect things to get much better.

It's also futile to suggest that the Second Avenue subway would solve these transit issues. Guess what, kids, the Second Avenue subway is never going to happen. It's like the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause: people tell you it's coming, but deep down you know it's nothing but a fairy tale.

If you need me, I'll be on the bus. I get lots of reading done there.