Wednesday, September 12, 2007

How To Not Get A Woman To Have a Drink With You

A few nights ago I was walking home from an event and I decided to stop in an internet cafe to check my e-mail. It's a place I go often, and I am usually not bothered since it is dark and most of the men are looking at dirty Web sites anyway. (Yes, in front of everyone.)

I was almost done with my session when the guy next to me asked if he could try to e-mail me a music file. He told me that he kept trying to send it to his friend,
but it kept getting returned. I said sure, typed in my e-mail adddress, and sure enough, it went through. This guy told me that he was a musician.

"I wrote the song," he said. "Make sure to LISTEN TO THE WORDS."

The song was okay, but I told him that it really needed a bassline. Hey, I'm no slouch when it comes to music appreciation.

I left the cafe and thought nothing of the guy until I got this e-mail from him this morning. Please note that this guy has the word "liar" in his e-mail address and calls me a "healthy, full-figured, woman." Um, I'm a size 8. Chesty, yes, but still an 8.

Fellas, if you want a woman to loathe you for the rest of your life, call her full-figured. Please note, though, that the following women can be considered full-figured: Oprah Winfrey, Delta Burke, Mo'Nique, etc.

The follwing women may not: Pauline Millard.

Please make a note of it.

While you're at it, file this e-mail under "How Not to Get a Woman to Have a Drink With You."

your so cool to let me email you like that.i was
sincere about my computer problem though.but i really
did injoy talking to such a healthy ff. women.and
temted to ask you for a drink or so...well just
listen even more to my music again the same way
loudley eq..with head phones to get it in your head
,and listen to my words ,i write to thanks ...