The Assorted Ways People Have Called me Fat Within the Last 24 Hours

Sumo Wrestler Musubi
Originally uploaded by Chika.

Yesterday, as you know, I went to the doc for a follow-up visit since my last shot of cortisone. The results thus far have been so-so, mostly because of my insistence to continue running, even though that's probably the worst thing I could be doing with a herniated disc.

Anyway, one thing I have noticed is that the outside of my left leg has started to bulge a little, probably because it's swollen. I mentioned this to Dr. Boris and he took a look at it.

"That's nothing to worry about," he said as I stood in the middle of his office with my skirt pulled up to my waist. "You're not swollen. That's probably just cellulite."

Um, actually it's not. Because after 8 years of running if there's one thing I don't have on my thighs it's cellulite.

Fast forward to later that same day when I was at the office and showing my co-worker Jerome some photos from some weddings. Our conversation went something like this:

Jerome: Gee, Pauline, you photograph really well. Maybe you should model or something.
Pauline: Are you kidding me? I'd be a five foot five 140 pound model. It doesn't exist.
Jerome: Well, you could always be a plus-size model.

Look people, just people I have a big head and hair and thighs like Virginia hams doesn't mean that I'm on the next bus to gastric bypass land. All my clothes fit and I have not resorted to elastic waistbands or sweatpants at work.

And for the record, calling someone "big boned" is also pretty far from a compliment.