Friday.

I've spent this whole week in Manhattan and it has been a very busy one. There have been dinners and parties to go to, classes to attend and an apartment that still hasn't been completely cleaned, despite the impending arrival of my 1-year-old nephew tomorrow. When The Kid arrives so will my brother Rob and every other Millard within a 10-block radius. I really need to wash the kitchen floor.

That said, I went out to dinner last night with Cara and Jill. Against my better judgement, I suggested a place in Murray Hill. The restaurant, a sushi joint named Maxie, was great. Afterwards we got drinks at Tonic and got to watch all the young and eager hedge fund guys watch football games on the large screen TVs. Murray Hill, for all its flaws, certainly knows how to party. When we left at 10:30 PM the place was filling up, and with people that appeared to have real jobs. I can't knock that hustle.

OK, back to work. Maybe I'll have some new photos this weekend.

Neither Man Nor Beast

I had another problem with my apartment window yesterday afternoon. It involved finding 12-year-old boys outside it after school. They claimed they were looking for someone's bookbag, but when I come out of the shower in a towel and step into my studio, I don't want to find a couple of 7th graders in front of my window that has a locked gate in front of it. I had to shout at a few kids, but again, lurking in front of stranger's windows will earn you that privledge. And anyone who's ever gotten a tongue lashing from me knows what a joy it can be.

Middle school boys are of no use to either man nor beast.

How about some links?

Howard K. Stern admits he's the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. And you're shocked because....

An interesting theory as to why you don't want a huge book advance.

Restaurants in NYC may have to limit trans fats in foods. Yay.

Another Reason I Need a New Apartment

It's not the rats that run around outside my window when the super takes the trash out. It's not the seasonal roaches. It's not the lack of sunlight or how it's sometimes hard to get a cell phone signal. I can deal with all that. The Gramercy bunker is a great little crash pad and a writer's den.

I just finished a little bit of writing that took me most of the morning. In an effort to clear my head I turned on the radio and blared a little Rob Thomas. His new song. It's quite nice. I happened to look up at my window and there was some old guy's face, pressing up against the screen that keeps the rats out.

"Excuse me," he said. "Do you know where the super is?"

I turned off the radio. "Well, I can tell you that he doesn't live here." I was snotty.

I think he was embarrassed. He should have been. Instead of ringing a doorbell or using a cell phone, like a civilized person, he practically stuck his head into a stranger's apartment. That stranger happened to be a woman who was wearing a wife beater and a pair of dance pants. What if I hadn't been wearing pants?

"He lives on 19th Street," I finally said. "Maybe you should try calling him."

"Yeah. Sorry, miss." he said.

I need a new apartment because I am tired of people mistaking my little window as either the super's apartment or some sort storage room they can stick their head into. I am particurally interested in the building on the corner of Bowery and Houston. Does anyone live there? How much is a studio/one bedroom? Is there a pool and a gym? I have heard that part of the building shakes when the F train rolls by. Is that true? Please advice.

In the meantime, maybe I need curtains?

Very Early Monday

White Ball in a Dark Roast
Originally uploaded by melanie.phung.

It's late night and I've been a busy little bee all weekend. I managed to take some time off today to go see The Black Dahlia. I highly recommend it. Scarlett Johansen is quite the screen siren.

For those of you who are true La Pauline fans, you will be pleased to know there is a character in the Black Dahlia named Russell Millard. I always support the use of the name "Millard," in popular culture.

The only other Millard that I know of that has been used in film or television was the Mr. Millard who was Alice's old flame on The Brady Bunch. In 1971 he came back into her life with an investment proposal that raised a few eyebrows. Luckily, Mike Brady came to the rescue.

Tomorrow: Back to the grind of being an ecrivante. I'm also in Manhattan all week, so feel free to give me a shout.

GOOD Magazine Launch Party

GOOD Magazine Launch Party
Originally uploaded by Caviar.

Like pretty much every other 18 to 34-year-old in New York, I went to the Good Magazine party last night. And it was good. I had the sense to get there early, so I got to enjoy the art before it became totally mobbed.

The best part was meeting Al Gore. I saw him when I first came in, and I did a quadruple take to make sure it really was him standing five feet away from me. It was and so I said hello and shook his hand. (No photographs, please.) Turns out his son does advertising for the magazine. The party was silly with secret service and at one point, around 10:00 PM, no one was allowed on the top floor because Al was up there. It's always a good time until someone brings the former presedetial candidate...

I had never been to the Creative Commons space and I was very pleased to have checked it out. I was impressed by all the art, especially this room. I like the colors and the psychedelic feel to the art.

Good magazine, I might add, is actually pretty good. It's very socially concious and aimed at young people, and I think that's a pretty novel idea. I do take isse with the fact that they called Dunkin Donuts coffee bad in a review about assorted coffees. Other than that, I fully endorse it.

In other news, I'm still trying to finish one of the writing projects I started earlier int he week. I am having a hell of a time finding marching band members at historically black colleges and universities. I have sent out three Profnet queries and yielded nothing. Looks like I'm going to have to get the Grambling band director on the horn. (And it's only a 400 word piece!)

I managed to write a column for The Simon yesterday about how being out in the suburbs for almost a week made me feel like I was losing my edge. Don't worry New York, I'm back!

Adventures in Driving: Rain!

I Believe in Light
Originally uploaded by Arnold Pouteau's.

Since writing is my profession/lifestlye choice, I spent most of Tuesday in the house working on a piece that needs to be turned in by Wednesday. (And for the record, I really need to speak with some minority college students majorig or minoring in a foreign language.) However, around 3:00 I realized I had to get some groceries, not to mentionsome gas for Le Doug's car. After all, no one wants to come from a trip to an empty gas tank.

I drove into town, which is perilous enough given how Old Greenwich housewives drive, I realized it was raining. Not only did I have to put on the lights, but windshield wipers as well.

First: Gas. Old Greenwich has a station that actually has full service, which is great because like Oprah, I didn't really know how to do it. This should not be considered a bad thing. If you asked your average red-stater how to get from Prince Street to Columbia University via the subway during rush hour, they wouldn't know, yet I would make fun of them.

Anyway, back at the station I had some issues to deal with, like backing the car around while some Ritalin-addled school kid ran around the station while his mother rummaged in the back of her ginormous Lexus SUV. (This is standard stuff in these parts.) Even better was when I told the guy to put regular gas in, and he looked at me like I was crazy. "Um, Lady," he said. "Beamers usually get the Super." Oh, well, I suppose they would. We put in half a tank (because I'm cheap) and I headed to the grocery store.

I have a bad habt of dawdling in grocery stores, and today was no exception. I'm not really into food and I don't have any issues with it. I think I just like to look at packaging. I don't like chips and nuts and Little Debbie cakes. I don't care how my deli meats are sliced or if the duck is on sale. I just like to look at it all. Presentation. Is that a crime? Just give me some hummus and some multi grain bread. I'll wash it down with some coffee and I'll be good to go.

Back at home, the cats napped and I got back to writing and waiting for people to call me back. At 5:30 I couldn't take it anymore and went out for a run. Nothing clears the head like an insane sweat.

A Link to a Piece I Wrote

Today I must write, but here is something for you to read. It's a piece in the venerable Sirens Mag about indulging in pre-wedding beauty treatments.

Doug is away for the next few days, which means that I am comandeering the Beamer. Last night I drove it all the way to Norwalk to meet Hillary for dinner. This is notable because I haven't driven a car that far in well over a year. I also drove home at night, remembering to put on the lights this time. I also managed to get on and off the highway. Many of you may be laughing at my anxiety over drving, but I'm trying to get over it and teach myself to do it well. Driving is one of those sink or swim situations: You either do it well or you're wrapped around a tree. I'm aiming for the former.

La Pauline: The Weather Gal!

I went to a job fair a few days ago and after glad-handing all the HR folks, I got a little bored. (How many free pens and Post-Its can you really take from a company's table?) The Weather Channel was there are were letting people do these fake weather reports. Never one to shy from the camera, I hopped right in. The best part? You can actually rent this thing out for parties and events. Sign me up.

For those of you who have never heard me speak before, this should be quite interesting.

Note: Hurricane Pauline was a real, Category 4 hurricane that hit a very poor part of Mexico in 1997.

Fashion Week Parties!

It's fashion week, which means there is champagne to be consumed. Last night, Erin C. and I did just that.

First stop: A party in the new salon on top of Bergdorf Goodman. Lots of booze, not a lot of food.

At least there was Veuve.


Tabloids are the enemy.


Erin and I ambushed this woman because her purse was so cool. It's buy Miu Miu. Go get one.


Our next stop was at Capitale on the Bowery, just a few blocks from not only my old apartment building, but a McDonald's as well. Before scarfing burgers, I took a shot in front of 50 Bayard Street, where I lived in 2002. I loved that apartment and I certainly did not want to move north of Houston Street. But I digress...


The Capitale party was for some new vodka, and red was the theme of the evening. That said, everything was bathed in red, everything from the lighting to the curtains to the women hanging from the ceiling.


Red Room! Red Room!


I'm feelin' the groove, Pilgrim.


This is DJ AM. He is quite good.


Smoove.


Jared Leto's band was the live entertainment of the evening. (?!?!?) I cannot even begin to tell you how much they sucked. He's all small and Goth and swears constantly. This was my general reaction to every song he did, including a horrendous cover of "Message in a Bottle." Grrrr...he even came out to "O Fortuna" from Carmina Burnana. Cheese, please.


Haterade aside, it was a great night. I don't know what they put in that vodka, but I was awake until 3:00 AM.

How About That John Mayer Show?

John Mayer
Originally uploaded by SmallAsDust.

I've been known to gush about John Mayer on occasion, but I've been following this guy's career since 2001. It pleases me to see it go in such a positive direction and last night's show at Webster Hall was a perfect example.

I hadn't planned on going at all. I teach a class on Wednesday nights and last night was the one. After doing evalutions and me offering some words of wisdom about writing, everyone went home and I started my walk home across town. Webster Hall was en route, and there wasn't much of a line outside. I figured that since I was a single gal they would let me in if it was sold out. I have pulled this before at other venues and it works surprising well. Just wear a smile and something low cut.

However, this time there were tickets available and my $40 was much more effective than my feminine wiles. The last time I was in Webster Hall was in 2004 to see Franz Ferd, right when they were blowing up. The place was packed for the Ferd, but Mayer's crowd was a little roomier and most def tamer. 50% fewer hipster as well.

Long story short: The show was incredible. I have seen him play in Irving Plaza, Jone's Beach, The Beacon Theater, even at a taping for the Carson Daily Show. Last night was the best I have ever seen. His new album is also amazing. Recommended tracks are "Heart of Life," "Belief," "Stop This Train," and "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room." Heck, the whole record rocks. Go get it. Stat.

And if you're some jaded guy who doesn't like Mayer because deep down you're jealous of his snake-charmer ways with women, then you need to get over that and look a little closer at his music. Mayer could eat you for breakfast.

Oh, Hello.

I have tremendous guilt for ignoring this blog for so long, but when this blog is ignored it only means I have been busy with other things, mostly writing, etc. And that's always good, right? Right.

I've also managed to stay in New York for the entire week, as opposed to hiding out in the country, Like I said, there has been business to attend to, and thus I am sleeping on my lumpy bed in the bunker, as opposed to Le Doug's Mattress O'Quality in the 'burbs.

But I do miss Maestro and Mozart.

I'll have more for you in a day or so, including a video of me as a fake weather girl. Gotta have hobbies.

The Norwalk Oyster Festival!

Sometimes people laugh when I tell them that Norwalk, CT, my hometown, has an annual Oyster Festival. If they had ever actually been to one, they would know how much fun they are, between the arts and craft tents (real fudge, kids!), the rides (Ferris Wheel!) and the live entertainment (Bo Bice, baby!)

Sure, there are strange parts, like how you can't really drive to "The Oy" even though it's in the middle of town. Instead, you park at a school and take a yellow shuttle bus down there. It's $10 jsut to get in, and then you have to pay for all your beer and wine and food.

Doug and I went out on Saturday afternoon. Good times were had.

This is the Norwalk Harbor. Pretty, isn't it?


Sure, maybe Stew Leonard was convicted of tax fraud. But he still has one heck of a grocery store.


Doug and I dug the tent of Minis.


Minis are small, and perfect for people who don't try to drive with a glass of wine in their hand.


Speaking of Oysters, here are a bunch being cleaned in a filthy trough with a shovel and hose. Mmmmm...


It was soon time for the ferries wheel


These little kids wondered if they were big enough to get on. They were.


Finally, Doug and I were off.


HELLO, NORWALK!!!


After, Le Doug cooled off in the Burt's Bee tent. I got my photo taken for the website. That'll be up later in the week.

It's Fall. Time to Deal With Reality.

I've been muy busy these last few days with all things writing, but I didn't want to leave you loyal readers with nothing to sink your teeth into. After all, it's fall, vacations' over and you're back at your desks. eBay can only amuse you for so long.

I set up a Flickr set of the best of my photos. Peruse at your leisure.

Today's column on The Simon about where we are five years after September 11th.

Christine Turns 29...and The Lights Go Out!

I've known Christine since I was about 14 years old. She is one of those friends who know where all the bodies are buried. That said, I make a point not to forget her birthday.

This year we all gathered at her new house in Norwalk, not far from where we all went to high school Thing is, a leftover storm from Ernesto decided to plow through Norwalk and knocked out her electricity. No worries, though, as Christine had candles and lanterns on hand and lots of liquor.

The whole. dimly-lit set can be seen here.

Christine and I


Adam Gets the Grill Ready. BBQ is both an art and a science.


Serious Meat


Even in the rain, nothing could stop this man from grilling.


Everyone in Norwalk is harcore. This is Christine's brother, Tim.


I'm pouty! I'm angry!


Sometimes I think Chris got a little too much sun out in Kuwait.


Seriously, though. He's a nice guy. So wholesome!


These are Christine's new kittens, Casey and Riley. They are so cute. I totally want to eat them.


Le Doug and I pimp in the garage.


Suddenly, I tree fell on Doug's car!


I was tres concerned. Would this mean we would have to take the Wheels Bus home?


But the guys helped get it off.


Le Doug became worried that maybe he had no power as well, so we took off in our matching hats.


Happy Birthday, Christine!

End of August Photos

This Labor Day Weekend weather is shite, so how about some photos?

I had to go out in the rain a few days ago to meet Le Doug at a Yankee game. I was not pleased, especially when I got off the train at 125th Street and learned the game was canceled.

At least I had a cool, fly-fishing hat to stay somewhat dry.


See how much it rained? The little creek in Binney Park totally overflowed.


I made it to the train, wet but all right.


The game was canceled, yet I was in NYC, so I called Erin who lives down the street and we got drinks, dinner, coffee and dessert.


She went home and then I discovered an Automat on Eighth Street. Huh? So retro!


Lots of Choices


Mmmm..trans fats