Afternoon Perusals

Sunday Morning
Originally uploaded by paulrutherford.

I'm not a whole lot of fun this afternoon, as I'm trying to stay busy at The Job, getting ready to teach that workshop at Barnes and Nobles tonight and setting up interviews for a big magazine piece.

So, here are a few link to keep you happy:

French doctors have completed the world's first face transplant.

Jack White of the White Stripes has managed to reproduce himself.

Sorry, lovers: It seems that lusty love will only last one year.

We Want Prenup! We Want Prenup!

nickjessica.jpg
Originally uploaded by barker_jeremy.

I get a lot of silly press releases over the course of the day, but yesterday afternoon I got a rather interesting one about Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.

It seems that when the two lovebirds got married three years ago, they never put together a prenup. At the time, Nick was the more successful of the two and Miss Jessica was still a third-tier blonde songstress. Oh, how things can change...

The whole press release is below. All in all, I think this divorce should be an interesting one to follow. Never will the tabloids be needed more...

****
In January of 2004, Jessica Simpson told reporters that she considered a prenuptial agreement "too worldly" given her Southern Baptist upbringing, and that she wouldn’t want one anyway. “If anything were to happen to me and Nick, I’ve had a great life with him and he would deserve half of everything I have,” she said at the time.

Nick Lachey may have thought a split might eventually favor him — in 2003, he joked with the Philadelphia Inquirer that "I didn't want to do [a prenup], because I know she'll end up making more money than me."

There could be more practical reasons for the couple decision to skip the prenup. Joe Simpson, Jessica’s father and manager, is widely regarded as a shrewd businessman when it comes to his daughters, and he may have seen some disadvantage in a prenup when his daughter first married Lachey. California divorce law provides for a 50/50 split of the assets of a divorcing couple, and when Lachey and Simpson first married, it was Lachey, coasting on the success of more than one multi-platinum album with 98 Degrees, who stood to lose in such a split.

Is Nick a latter-day Nostradamus? Will Jessica eat her words?

---From Justice Wire

So You Say You Want to Stalk Me...

SOME HIPPIE CREEP
Originally uploaded by defekto.

You'll have a perfect opportunity tomorrow, November 30th at the Barnes and Nobles on Sixth Avenue and 8th Street in the West Village.

I'll be teaching an hour-long workshop on feature writing for the Gotham Writer's Workshop.

It starts at 7:30 PM.

Tuesday's Non-Required Reading

Time Out
Originally uploaded by **Anna.

It's a little slow at The Job this afternoon. I've been drinking tea ad nauseum in order to get rid of my cough, and it seems to be working.

There are a few good articles for reading today. Check them out at your leisure.

New Yorkers have been talking a lot about Peter Braunstein and his sick, twisted Halloween attack on the friend of an ex-girlfriend. New York magazine has a solid round up of the case.

Daniel Maurer wrote this bit about why gangsta rappers need to settle down.

As for me, much research tonight for a big writing project, maybe some yoga and housework.

Thrillist

Hey Sports Fans,

If you're in Manhattan and you are looking for the latest and greatest in things to do, then please check out Thrillist. It's a four-times a week e-mail newsletter that gives you the ins and out of this fair city.

And with that, I am out for the evening. Time to teach and enlighten minds.

Back in Black

Los leones de la biblioteca
Originally uploaded by trevonio.

Hello all,

I admit that I took a few days off from The Blog, to well, try not to think about things such as The Job and other responsibilities. I think I achieved it.

While out in Connecticut I slept a lot, read books, bought an awesome new coat and had my way with a Carvel ice cream sheet cake. Once back in the city (I got a ride in, since Metro-North on a holiday is for the bougeoise) my latest paramour and I spent Sunday together brunching and checking out the Museum of Natural History. Perhaps one day I will post of photo of him. He is quite the dish.

Anyway, Sunday was grand and the only flub may have been when I bumped into a co-worker at the 23rd Street N/R station. The Paramour and I had just left L'Express on 20th Street and we were headed towards to museum. I was a little overly buzzed from the mimosas and Chimay at brunch, and I found myself having to make polite, greet and toss conversation not only with my co-worker, but his wife, also a co-worker and their young daughter.

In a situation like this you don't want to seem sloshed in the middle of the day, even though you might be. The trick is to just keep smiling, nodding and not go into extended explanations of anything. Channel your inner pageant girl, and you'll be good to go.

I also skipped my 10-year high school reunion this weekend. As much as I thought I wanted to go at the last minute I realized I didn't want to spend $75 talking to people that I honestly may not want to. Most of the folks from high school that I want to see and talk to, I do. (And there are many of them.) As for the rest, well, I guess there are reasons we aren't friends anymore, none of which are anyone's fault, really.

And that's my bit of honesty for today.

La Thanksgiving

kkPilgrimGirl
Originally uploaded by missamorphosis.

Hello all,

Some of you have written in wondering where I've been these last few days. Well, the answer is: Away from work. I took Monday and Tuesday off to sleep in and eat sushi, and then yesterday I took off for Connecticut for Thanksgiving.

I drove into CT with my mom whihc took two and half hours. The trip from NYC to Westport normally takes an hour, tops. But thanks to people who don't seem to know how to drive, we were held up by rubber necking on two accidents.

Once in CT Jen came and picked me up and we made the social rounds, first at Chris' house and then at a party. Good times. We left at around 1:00 AM and right before Exit 19 on the I-95 we were stalled by another accident that had just happened. The police and emergency crews weren't on the scene yet. What is going on that I could see three fresh accidents in less than 6 hours? Please pay attention on the roads, folks. You're not the only ones driving.

I'll be in the Westport/Norwalk/Fairfield area for the rest of the week. My plan is to eat, do work out tapes and read. There are a lot of dogs here in the Westport house and I've been spending some time with a pug named Yogi. There is also a wondeful tabby cat named Noozle.

So eat well today, my young friends. Afterwards go for a walk and try to burn some of it off.

Some Friday Zen for You

Beautiful Bamboo in Georgia
Originally uploaded by joaobambu.

A few nights ago I got off the 6 Train at Spring Street. Inside the token booth was a white board, and on the white board was written the following:

When the student is ready, the teacher will come.

It's an old saying and a pretty common one, but nevertheless important. I thought about it in yoga last night, while hanging in some upside down position. I've tried yoga many times before and it never stuck. Yet for some reason now I can't get enough of it.

I can only speak for myself on this one, but I think it also applies to writing. Any writer can tell you about the horrible feeling that arises after sitting at the keyboard for hours on end, staring at the empty page. No matter how hard you try or how much coffee, etc. you pour into you, nothing comes out. Sometimes it's not until you step away and go do something else that the inspiration and readiness to create comes.

Last night we were doing some handstands in class, a task that seemed daunting because I was sure that I would bash my head against the brick wall. Eventually I got up and hung for a bit, and I must say that watching everything topsy-turvy was exhilerating. Try it!

Speaking of topsy-turvy...

If the first quote in this entry was too new agey for you, try this one on for size. It's from my personal guru, Cab Calloway:

I'm a striver,
From up on striver's row.
And I'm jivin',
The very best i know.
Hard times got me topsy-turvy

From "Topsy-Turvy (Hard Times)"

New York Fetish

My latest column on The Simon is about how New Yorkers (and others) tend to fetishize random things, such as iPods and blogs.

Read it. Love it. Live it.

The Orange Man

First TD
Originally uploaded by ewidem.

Every now and again I'll be out with my girlfriends and we'll see a guy. Unprompted, one of the ladies will say, "He so could have gone to Syracuse," and we will all nod knowingly.

There was a certain type of guy that went to Syracuse, at least when I was there. He was usually tall and dark and in the winter would become a strange shade of orange due to copious use of the tanning booths. Back in the late 1990s they often drove Pathfinders or Blazers and listened to far too much Jay-Z or Wu-Tang, even though they were more than likely from suburban New Jersey. I never particurally trusted these guys, mostly because they dressed better than I did.

Upon arrival in NYC, these guys set up camp on the Upper East Side or in Murray Hill, and basicaly continued their glorified frat boy existance. Since I'm not one to frequent the East 30s, I rarely had to interact with them. Our species generally don't mix well.

Unless, of course, I go to a Syracuse Alumni event.

Last night Allison and I went to go see Prof. Robert Thompson speak at Lubin House. You know Robert Thompson. You've seen him on every network news show imaginable, talking about TV and other aspects of pop culture. He's a brilliant guy and wonderuflly funny. Last night after we all enjoyed an open bar and some serious snacks, he gave a talk about everything from DVRs to the supposed death of the sitcom.

After the talk I needed to use a ladies room and so I headed up to the "secret" bathrooms on the second floor. I was still groggy from all the painkillers I took the night before, so initially I didn't notice the two guy who were also standing in the hall by the bathrooms.

"Um, we were waiting," one of them said.

I turned around and saw two guys, no more than 25, staring at me. They were typical Syracuse guys in their flat front khakis and crisp collared shirts. Their hair was slicked back with far too much gel. I believe I was taller than both of them. (Shazam!)

I watched them as they stood around, talking about sports or whatever. And even though they looked really clean and had shiny shoes, I thought they were gross. After all, who cared if I cut them in line for the bathroom? I was the woman in this equation. If I wanted to go first, why not let the lady go first? Why start pulling rank while waiting for a bathroom?

Then again, maybe it's hard to be a gentleman when you're still a momma's boy.

Anyway, that's my etiquette lesson for today: If you're a guy and a woman seems to be cutting you in line for a bathroom, or the bodega or whatever, just let her go. Otherwise she will talk shite about you not only to her friends, but on her blog as well. (And yes, we all have them.)

Next week: Why you should never invite adults to weddings without guests. Particurally me.

Some Parting Words....

Before I take off into the great unknown (read: Evening Plans) I would like to leave you with this quote from a story about the Rolling Stones.

Seems that some residents out in California were less than jazzed by the noise from a recent concert and filed noise complaints about The Stones.

"I've got no artistic judgment against the Rolling Stones, but just because they're too old to hear their music doesn't mean their music has to be so loud," said Ted Weinstein, who said he heard noise from the concert from his home miles away.

Adventures in Pain Killers

Last night after a sushi dinner in SoHo I came home and pretty much fell asleep. At around 2:00 AM I was roused from sleep because of the shooting pain in my back and leg. Realizing that I've had enough of this herniated disc nonsense, I got up and took a Darvocet. It's a cousin of the Percocet and I was hoping it would knock me out so I could get a decent night's sleep for a change.

No such luck. At 4:00 AM I was roused again and so I took another pill. Yet the buggers didn't seem to work. Sure, they made me tired but they didn't seem to do their job, that is, to kill the pain. And these are Darvocets. It's a narcotic analgesic. Since when don't these things make people feel better? Don't people have drug addictions because these things are supposed to be so good? Am I missing some sort of pleasure center in my brain that won't let me enjoy them?

So today I'm a little groggy. I would very much like a nap, or at least a gooey egg and cheese sandwich. Tonight Allison and I are going to an event at Lubin House, to mingle with some Syracuse folk. Should be good times.

A Black Table Entry

If you don't already read The Black Table, then I highly suggest you do so. It is, as Mr. Miagi would say, "Much humor."

Today I have an item on their weekly Blacklist. It's a good one this time around. Check it out here.

As for me:

SPENDING $10,000 ON OTHER PEOPLE'S WEDDINGS:
When the deluge of wedding invitations started filling up my mailbox, I figured I would need a little cushion money to get me through the blitzkrieg of celebrations. So I pulled about $10,000 out of a fund and put it in my checking account, just so that I wasn't racking up any credit card debt. Between the bridal showers, the bachelorette parties (one of which was in Vegas), meals, buying new outfits, photo processing and traveling to and fro, I burned through that pile of coin in less than two months. Two months. $10,000. And all I have to show for it are some stolen hotel pens. Burning Through $10,000: D. Deliriously Laughing at the Fact That I Burned Through $10,000: A

Dixieland Epiphanies

Chairs
Originally uploaded by iampeas.

As promised I sat down and did some work on my writing projects last night. I got a later start than I expected, since I needed a short nap after coming home from work (Is this a mysterious flu coming on?).

I also found a Dixieland CD that I bought a few weeks ago but never opened. I put it into the stereo and had a little Pauline Dance Party to such hits as "When the Saints Come Marching In" and "Over in the Gloryland.". After all that I have come to the conclusion that when I get married I want a Dixieland Band, and that the clarient is really under rated.

I have made the executive decision that I am not going to pursue any more literary agents until both this current novel that I'm working on and the one I finished last year are both ready to go out. Initially I figured that I would push one out and then the other, but the more I work on this new one and fine tune the other one, the more I realized how much they go together, like the yin and the the yang. One is not a sequal to the other, but rather complements the other.

Tonight I am having sushi and going mattress shopping. They go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Square One

Village Remix
Originally uploaded by dualpupil.

Hello Angels,

First off, I need to apologize to anyone who was in the 2:30 PM yoga class yesterday at Sal Anthony's Movement Salon. That strange, coughing fit of mine surely disrupted the first 15 minutes of your practice. Thankfully, by the time we got to Warrior I my brochial tubes had cleared themselves up. Next time I'll be sure to slather on more Vapo rub before coming to class.

In other news, my weekend was grand. Friday and Saturday brought incredible dinners as well as a trip to the Met and a viewing of "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang." (Robert Downey Jr,: How brilliant is he?) On Sunday I took to my bed with Lauren Weisberger's latest book, only to leave twice for coffee and the aforementioned yoga class.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the act of decompression. That is, the need to do nothing after doing a lot for several days. See, last week I worked and went out and went to yoga and then on Friday and Saturday I hit the town, ate good food and stayed out late. On Sunday, when I should have been writing and working on some of my larger projects, I chose instead to stay in bed and read chick lit.

On one level I feel guilty for doing that. After all, I had an entire day to do work on some of my more lucrative projects, and yet I chose not to. Sometimes it causes me much grief, especially when I think that if I just invested three hours or so to that big article or chapter in my novel I could have made some progrss, however small.

Then again, reading the fluffy books and flipping through the fashion mags might be the mental equivalent to cleansing the palette, the figurative sorbet between intellectual meals.

So, yes. I need to sit down and work on a few things, a few things that can give me the financial cushion I need to support my clothing and spa habit. Best of all, the fates have a funny way of messing with me. Because even though I spent all last night curled up in my underwear doing nothing, I was given a freebie tonight. The class I usually teach on Mondays was cancelled. Now I have five hours to work with, any way I'd like.

However, I don't think chasing off to the cinema should be an option.

The Assorted Ways People Have Called me Fat Within the Last 24 Hours

Sumo Wrestler Musubi
Originally uploaded by Chika.

Yesterday, as you know, I went to the doc for a follow-up visit since my last shot of cortisone. The results thus far have been so-so, mostly because of my insistence to continue running, even though that's probably the worst thing I could be doing with a herniated disc.

Anyway, one thing I have noticed is that the outside of my left leg has started to bulge a little, probably because it's swollen. I mentioned this to Dr. Boris and he took a look at it.

"That's nothing to worry about," he said as I stood in the middle of his office with my skirt pulled up to my waist. "You're not swollen. That's probably just cellulite."

Um, actually it's not. Because after 8 years of running if there's one thing I don't have on my thighs it's cellulite.

Fast forward to later that same day when I was at the office and showing my co-worker Jerome some photos from some weddings. Our conversation went something like this:

Jerome: Gee, Pauline, you photograph really well. Maybe you should model or something.
Pauline: Are you kidding me? I'd be a five foot five 140 pound model. It doesn't exist.
Jerome: Well, you could always be a plus-size model.

Look people, just people I have a big head and hair and thighs like Virginia hams doesn't mean that I'm on the next bus to gastric bypass land. All my clothes fit and I have not resorted to elastic waistbands or sweatpants at work.

And for the record, calling someone "big boned" is also pretty far from a compliment.

You're No One Until You're Offered Press Credentials at the Adults Video News Expo

Here I am, working a little overtime because someone's out today when I get the following e-mail:

***
Greetings! January is right around the corner, and Press Registration for the 2006 AVN Expo is officially open.

You can register online or, to save you time and hassle, you can register through me. Please email me with the following:

First / Last Legal Name:
Name of Media Affiliation:
Title:
Email:
Phone #:
Interests / Angles / Assignments / Deep Thoughts:

The show will run January 5-8 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

If you have never been to this expo, your time has come.

***

Yes, truly, my time has come.

Yes, I Turned Down a Prescription For Vicodin

Cabbin'
Originally uploaded by DoctorDave.

This morning I had to go see Dr. Boris for a follow-up to the last shot that that I got in my back. It was pretty routine, he just wanted to see how I was feeling.

I told him that I wasn't sleeping well because of the lingering pain, and asked if there was something I could take, perhaps a pain killer slightly stronger than the Ultracet that he had given me. They seemed to be wearing off to quickly.

He said he could give me some Vicodin, which would make me sleepy and take away the pain. I was less than pleased. The last time I took Vicodin, back in 2000 during a root canal, it left me completely retarded for days on end. I can't be retarded for days on end. I'm a writer, I have to think. I have a class to teach, I have to be lucid.

So yes, I turned down an easy prescription for Vicodin. I guess I just don't have an addictive personality.

In other news, I skipped not only a film screening last night but a book party as well so I could go to yoga. It was an excellent choice. The decision to go to Sal Anthony's Movement Salon was a way to not only get some exercise while my back gets its act together, but also to destress. My ability to decompress is sometimes compromised, mostly due to the demands that I put on myself.

Anyway, yoga was a dream. It was an hour and half of poses and stretching and then we did a yin practice at the end, in which we sat in the dark in silence for about 15 minutes. The effects were really relaxing. So relaxing, that I came home, ate some hummus, and then fell asleep at 9:00 PM. But I guess I needed it.

Tonight I'm off to a party and then hopefully a little bit more cleaning of my house. I still haven't found my house keys even though I gave the house a good once-over this morning. I tossed out a huge bag full of empty mineral water bottles. Some people have beer bottles cluttering up their place, me, I have mineral water.

Weddings Can Be Shocking

One of the best photos to come out of all those weddings.

Cheers!

Random Celebrity News

Yay!
Originally uploaded by jkottke.

Paris Hilton was supoenaed today as a witness in this case. The story is from Radar magazine. The irony of the "Girls Gone Wild" guy mixed up in his own sex tape snafu amuses me to no end.

Also, I'm a big fan of Lauren Weisberger and her books, so this bit, also from Radar, about Anna Wintour supposedly trying to put the ki-bosh on desginers appearing in her film also makes me grin.

Check out the piece I wrote about Weisberger in 2003.

And the one that ran in The New York Times this past Sunday.

Return of the City Girl

DSC05120.JPG
Originally uploaded by mrlerone.

I can't stress enough how nice it is to not have to worry about any more weddings. The best part is that my evenings are filling up rather quickly. I even got invited to a Christmas party already.

Last night I walked down to the the LES because I thought there was a book party going on at Lolita. I got there and no one was there. (Turns out the party is tonight.) I was already pretty tired as it was so I ended up walking back home via Lafayette Street, then across Spring and up Mulberry, eventually ending up in Gramercy after stopping for sushi and some coffee.

Anyway, the walk through Nolita was refreshing. Back in 2002 I lived on Bayard Street in Chinatown, just one block south of Canal. Since I don't really like Chinese food I would always go up to Nolita to eat. After a while, I got a little attached to the 'hood. I'm still having some seperation anxiety. I still gt my nails done at Deca Nails on Spring and I still eat as often as I can at Cafe Gitane. If I weren't locked into a two-year lease in Gramercy, I would be all over Spring Street.

As for future plans, tonight I'm going to a screening of Bee Season on 42nd Street. Then I really need to clean my apartment because I actually couldn't find my keys this morning. I had to use my spare set. Tsk, tsk. Such a spaz am I.

Chapter 2

I spent my first weekend away from the grips of weddings doing what I do best: Partying. Friday was spent at a happy hour with some writers, followed up by sushi on Spring Street. If you can ever get yourself to Sui on Spring and Mulberry, you will be happy you did so. It was some of the best sushi I've had in my life, and I am a sushi snob.

Saturday I did some Pauline Shopping. I have no idea how much I actually spent, but when I finally came home with some hummus and pita for dinner, I had purchased yoga and pilates sessions, three tops from Club Monaco, assorted teeth whitening products (I like coffee and red wine a little too much) as well as had several parts of my body waxed. (Suffice it is to say I am wonderfully symmetrical now.)

That night I went out with Linda and her friends. Basically the seven of us polished off seven bottles of wine and then went dacning at the Hudson Hotel. I meant to hit the after hours party Brian organized, but I fell asleep.

Sunday I down shifted a bit and managed only to consume breakfast at the coffee shop that is run by Russians and went to yoga. Then I stayed in the rest of the night and corrected some papers and read Everyone Worth Knowing by Lauren Weisberger, because I am deep like that.

The Season Finale: Julie's Wedding!!

I've known Julie since we were in college. She's the kind of gal who knows me so well and has seen me in so many compromising positions that I would have to send her to an undisclosed location should the producers of my E! True Hollywood Story want people to talk to. She knows too much.

Nevertheless, the girl knows how to throw a party. Surrounded by about 250 of her nearest and dearest we all boozed and had our way with the sushi station. After that, we fought for space on the dance floor. Good times, good times.

Here are a few pics. The whole shmoo can be found on La Flickr

Here Comes the Bride


The Bride and I


Jason Charms the Ladies


Jonathan Rocks the Casbah


Julie's Hair Lasted Longer Than the Band


Happiness is an Open Bar


Many Were Disappointed That After All That Dancing, My Dress Never Popped Open

La Thursday

I'm really tired today because Ye Olde Herniated Disc decided to act up in the middle of the night. Being that I had an early morning appointment I couldn't just take a Darvocet and call it a night.

Here is today's column from The Simon. It's about November, As a Concept.

Tomorrow, gobs of photos from Julie's wedding. She sent me over about 200 (!?!?) today, but I'm really busy right now.

And hey...I'm actually going to go to some real parties this weekend and for the rest of the year. No more events where I have to buy a $200 dress or watch my alcohol in take because I know bride's parents. Does everyone hear me? La Pauline is falling off the wagon.

Jen's Big Fat Italian/Portugese Wedding!

Note to Self: Next time my best friend of 20-plus years gets married, do not wait until I have five rolls of film done to take them to get processed. Otherwise I will have a glut of photos to sort through and will be out $84 in processing fees.

Nevertheless, the phots will rock.

Enough yapping from me. Here are some shots from Jen's Big Day:

You Say There Will Be Single Ladies at This....Wedding?


Last Hours As a Single Woman...In Front of a Tree (and Fairfield High School??)


The Happy Couple, and Me


I Loved my Flowers


So Did Allanah, La Fille de les Fleurs


Chris and La Madre


The Part of The Bridesmaid Will be Played by Me


We Housed the Champagne on the Party Van


Table 10....Where The Action's At!


...And Then the Chick Says to Me, "What Do You Mean You Want Me to Pay for the Coffee in the Morning?"


Feet Don't Fail Me Now!

Julie's Wedding Extraveganza!!!

You know a wedding week-end is going to be awesome when during the rehearsal dinner the father of the bride picks up a micrphone and tells everyone that if there's anything they need, to let him know. Anything, you say? So if I want a Bellini in the middle of the afternoon, the bar will make me one for free? Yup. Oh geez....

Julie's wedding was an amazing way to end this year's wedding season. There was dancing, booze, a sushi station, a chocolate fountain, about 200 or so people, all under one roof. We were all literally stumbling distance from our rooms. There's no off-switch on Julie's genius.

Here are some photos from the event. They were all taken by Allison Sachs, friend, dancer, wedding romancer.

Lisa Enjoys a Smoke at the Rehearsal Dinner


Allison Sachs and I


Black and Brown All Over


My Friend Pete and I at Table 13 (The Kids' Table)


More to come soon, once I pick them all up from CVS.

And Blogger, why is your site all messed up today? I realize you are a free service, but get it together.